Sex, drugs and rock n’ roll.

There is such humor in recognizing the academic transgressions of educators.

Lust is one of the oldest sins known to Man, Beast, Martian and now… faux academics. It comes as no surprise then that this enduring sin and its kindred cosmic twin “prostitution” (the oldest economic occupation recorded), reign supreme in the hearts and minds of some university staff members. It doesn’t take a commission to call a spade a spade; accordingly, when you are caught with your skirt around your ankles and R80 000 in your pocket, the correct response is not: Makgoba sexually assaulted me.

In the past few weeks university staff have been too busy, alleging or rebutting accusations of sexual assault, to give a flying fig about the rapidly degenerating state of student welfare. While the pitiable student population is compelled to eek out an academic existence, with only a hope of attaining a semblance of academic nirvana, the horny pratts in the higher academic order play games such as: u-touched-my-ass-I-sue-you *snicker-snicker-drool* – which is evidently more important than the efficient management of the University. When will it be realized that it is not exactly blissful to get a news flash every time people at this university use their bodies as open commerce?

This promiscuous self-destructive trajectory has all the hallmarks of a rock n’ roll lifestyle. Allow me to elucidate by hypothesizing the conversation that led to the errant violation of the law: “Come on My Zulu Juliet, hook me up! There’s a pair of pink fluffy handcuffs and a leather whip in it for you if you pull if off,” cajoled an impassioned and endearing Rajah Romeo. “Oh baby! I’ll turn your pages if you turn mine for R80 000,” bargained the Zulu Juliet. The deed was done! The destruction of economic integrity; everything that Mother Teresa and Gandhi had lived and died for; and, the worth of our toil to obtain a degree, were all obliterated in that one salacious moment – throwing us into the primitive ages where darkness, discord, and disillusion menacingly shadow the broad sunlit path of education. Who knows what other evil lurks in the hearts of those in power at this intuition.

However, my coy disapproval is not motivated by a deep sense of jealousy at the acquisition of carnal aspirations between student & teacher. Quite frankly, I could care less if they were marinated in cocaine and took turns to sniff each other; while lovingly holding hands under a moonlit sky in the Bahamas. What annoys me is that they lacked the presence of mind to avoid getting caught; thus, they have brought our humble and ordinarily reputable academic institute, perfectly in line with the behavior of various wayward American Presidents.

When all is said and done, the enduring but perverse truth that the spectator student population dare not acknowledge is that as much as we outwardly frown on this kind of academic pursuit, we are secretly utterly enthralled by it. But for revealing our weakness for scandal; for inciting a lascivious urge in impressionable youth; and, for making the legend of puritanical love lies, all lies; I will never forgive our modern day Romeo and Juliet – regardless of how orgasmically crossed and monetarily misguided they were. It’s a shame that public floggings are no longer allowed.

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Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)

• Doctor’s Orders
• Germany’s Ph.D. Scandal: Were Degrees Bought?
• California’s Budget Crunch: The Universities Protest

~ by acerbicheckler on December 7, 2006.